Penultimate

Its my last night home alone (allegedly!) tonight - the penultimate evening before his lord and master comes home and disrupts my routine, leaves kit everywhere and moves everything.  Sounds negative doesn't it, sounds as though l wish he wasn't due home - that's not the case, far from it.

When you living alone for whatever lenght of time you get into a routine, you only have to think about yourself and take no one else into consideration.  Once your routine gets disrupted you have to form a new one.  He's only been gone a month this time - but we moved house literally days before he went and l was here home alone unpacking boxes and finding new homes for our bits and pieces so l formed that new routine pretty quickly.

There are other stressful things going on right now legal battles and for the last month they have been on hold and emotionally for me its been great not having to deal with the harsh realities of being a grown up for the last month. Now it will be back in my face with like a train on a crash course collision. 

Yet lm nervous - going on a first date type nervous.  Ive got a full day and evening to get through until gets back - trying to fill my day.  What should l wear?  Will he even notice?  Primping and preening myself - when most likely he will get home exhausted just wanting a shower and to fall into bed - a real proper bed with a duvet and mattress - not even noticing what l look like or have on!  I will want to have a glass of wine, talk and re-connect, but in reality unlikely to sentence which makes sense.  Ive been here before, l know what to expect - doesnt mean l wont be disappointed.

What his return also means that we are moving closer to deployment - 12 weeks to be precise.  Creeping slowly forward, sneaking closer day by day, taking me unawares.