8 June 2011

Goal Posts Moving and Ray's of Sunshine

I'm not surprised or shocked - l should be so used to the goal posts being moved, the RAF being criticized and blamed and me having to shuffle and juggle my plans with 5 minute warnings - par for the course.

Firstly it was going out and the dates moved back later into May, then they bounced forward, then they pushed back and eventually 17th May was the day.  I was well aware that l would be "abandoned" over my birthday - it wasn't a significant one just another year older! 

The home coming was supposed to be 10th June but then the first flight out was not until 24 hours later - 11th June  morning, now its Saturday tea time (mid afternoon GMT) flying into Oxfordshire and then an hours travel time home - l get the pleasure of driving to camp to collect him by the side of the road - dignified!  Of course there is the given caveat - you know the RAF could bugger things up yet - it might even be Sunday.

Of course there is no question of me not pacing the floor waiting for the phone call to say be there  in 30 mins - but that's my Saturday evening.  And why do l feel guilty about the fact that l cannot take Monday off work - its not that l cant get the time its just lm actually extremely busy with meetings and paper deadlines to achieve - but still the guilt and the want to grab every available moment in time together because there are so many days, weeks and months spent apart.

I just fall into line - taking a secondary position, unable to make any demands, having to accept that my career has to take second place to his.  This makes my blood boil YET l still assimilate and do as l asked - why - cos lm head over heels in love with a member of Her Majesty's Forces.

On an aside - today has been a momentous day one of my oldest friends has had twins - little boy and a little girl - after 10 years of trying. failed IVF treatment after failed treatment, savings being used until they are non existent and finally some one up there smiled upon them.  So, a ray of sunshine in a gloomy dark day.

No comments:

Post a Comment